Absence

Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.
Big has been visiting his parents out of state and I have been spending a lot of time fantasizing about what I want to do with him upon his return.
But it's not just that he's been gone for a week. His "absence" has been ongoing for months.
He is back in school and I teach school, so the end of the year had both of us in complete madness. Instead of leaning on each other, we both spun in opposite directions and the months got away from us--before I knew it, it was graduation and Memorial Day and he was gone to Arizona, just like that.
At first I was upset--we were supposed to go away together (I thought). And here he was testing me that he'd just flown over Palm Springs--OUR Palm Springs. Without me.
But as the days went on, I realized that I wasn't upset that he'd gone away from me physically, it was that we'd been apart for months. I wasn't mad at him--I wanted him back in my life. I realized that I wanted to reconnect. He and I have to make a conscious effort to keep in each other's lives or else the days go by and before ewe know it, it'll be next summer.
So in one day, I shall see my Big again and tell him all of this. Well, maybe I'll just throw my arms around him and see where that takes us...